Monday, May 26, 2014

The Incomparable Comedy of Burda

Burda does a great job of providing a lot of variety in its patterns. The company has oodles of enthusiastic fans, and for good reason. But jiminy crickets, they send out so many emails of so many products, collections and affiliates that I'm about to unsubscribe from their list.

Good thing I haven't yet, though, or I would have missed my eyes popping out of my head today at the Prairie Darling Collection: 13 Down Home Patterns.

Yes, when I'm feeling sweet and wholesome, I want to slip into something more, you know, utilitarian:

That's right, off to the barn to muck out the stalls in my sequin tank, strappy high-heeled sandals and insanely unflattering overalls. Even the horses will be staring at that rippling center front zipper as it explodes into a roller coaster of bumps over my abdomen.

For climbing fences, I'll "take this simple dress to the next level with shimmering burnout satin for the bodice and super casual khaki for the skirt." I won't have to worry about any potential wardrobe malfunctions, because it is "modest" (yeah, that neckline is downright concealing) and "easy to wear."

It's always more authentic when your shorts are shinier than your wheelbarrow.

Huck Finn himself would probably sport this strapless jumpsuit when floating down the Mississippi.

White cotton eyelet for watering the stock? That's why God made washing machines, for crying out loud.

Burda, I gotta hand it to you guys--you made me look twice! But all the funny photo styling in the world wouldn't make me put on those overalls.


  1. I often think I'd like to subscribe to Burda, but then I read your blog and laugh & laugh!

  2. Gold! You brightened up my day with that very insightful commentary ;-)

  3. Thanks for the good laugh! I have gotten into the habit of not opening the Burda e-mails anymore. Just look what I missed!

  4. ROFLOL! Thank you for the much needed laugh! Reminded me of the time a neighbor wanted to know if she could have beans from my garden. I said sure, come on over and pick to your heart's content. She arrived in white shorts, lacy blouse and stiletto heels. :) she actually tried to walk in plowed ground, squatting down to pick the beans and fell right over in the dirt.

  5. LOL Oh, you SO wrote what I feel about Burda lately. Their photos are lovely, but come on, doesn't anybody read their copy before they post it? It's like being back in the 60's, because nothing is even close to being appropriate, then they called it Mod, now it's termed Trending, but to me it's just silly. Maybe I'm just getting crankier in my old age, but I don't want to pay a fee to have the "privilege" of printing out the pattern and having to assemble it, then copy it onto pattern paper before I can even begin to adjust, cut and sew it. Sorry for the mini rant. I appreciate your post, and you had me laughing, so thank you very much. Have a great day! LJ

  6. LOL! I already unsubscribed to that incesent mailing list. I see all the blogs with "Burda this" and "Burda that" and think maybe I do need to shell out $15 for the magazine but then I see things like this and their infamous rectangle pattern and Thanks for the mid afternoon giggle.

  7. wellllll......creeping back in to comment after a couple of days so maybe no one else will see, but - i have to thank you for posting this; other wise i would never have run across this spread which i just love! i've always had a very utilitarian/antique-femme kind of style and this is great inspo for me. I especially love that last tunic/dress.

    How boring life would be if we all liked the same flavors! Happy Day, steph

  8. Those dungarees are the ugliest things I have ever seen! Very funny! xxx

  9. Those dungarees are just beyond words. Someone has done a lot of unnecessary design there, normal style are bad enough but these?!
    Thanks for sharing the hideousness :)

  10. Hilarious. Burda is always good for a giggle!